The following article is reprinted, with permission. It offers some concrete advice on an issue that is very real in our community with out kids. You may find it helpful in dealing with your children, or with their friends....................
problem: "Two months ago, I came home from work early and walked in on my 10th-grader and his friend smoking pot," says Susan. "Evan told me they were just experimenting and promised he wouldn't do it again. But last week I found a half-smoked joint in this jacket pocket. I'm a single mom, and I need guidance."
kids perspective: "My friends and I like to get high when we're bored. I don't see why it's such a big deal anyway. Pot is safe."
Dr. Ron's diagnosis: First I dispelled Evan's notion that smoking pot if safe. I explained that pot is especially risky for teens because their brains are still developing, and that kids who smoke pot may become paranoid and have anxiety attacks that don't go away when the drug wears off. There's also evidence that pot may cause long-term lung and brain damage. And sometime it's laced with more harmful drugs, such as PCP, crack and even embalming fluid, without the user's knowledge. Finally, I told Evan that continued use can lead to a desire to try more dangerous, addictive drugs. Then I spoke to Susan separately - she needed to shore up her confidence - and advised her to take these actions:
- State her position clearly so that Evan (and his younger sister) knows that drug us is unacceptable and that there will be swift consequences. Starting immediately, Evan isn't allowed to attend any unsupervised activities for at least a month. - Contact the other kid's parents to tell them what happened and to advise them that the two boys aren't allowed to hang out together unless a parent is present in the room at all times. - Get Evan support at 12-step meetings geared toward teens. Susan can find them online, in the phone book, or by calling a local hospital. - Arrange for adult supervision after school, the danger zone for drug use. Evan should sign up for sports or join clubs. Susan might also request flex time at work or ask a trusted adult to spend time with her children. - Become drug savvy so she can deal with any questions that come up. She can go to the National Institutes of Health website,nida.nih.gov, and rent HBO's Addiction Project. - Have Evan volunteer weekly for two months at a physical rehabilitation facility where many of the patients have drug-related injuries. - Talk to both kids about the very real possibility of getting arrested. - Be aware of the scent of pot on Evan's clothing or breath. Also search his room weekly for rolling papers, pipes, roach clips, seed, small glass vials, and incense and air freshener.
Warning Signs of Drug Abuse
Mood swings, increased irritability
Stealing valuable items or money
Repeated curfew violations
Trouble concentrating, loss of motivation, academic problems
Dilated pupils or bloodshot eyes
Excessive sleepiness or hunger
Poor personal hygiene
Being verbally or physically abusive to others
follow-up: Four months after our initial visit Susan told me she'd arranged for flex time three days a week and asked her retired father to supervise Evan and his sister the other two days. "I am so proud of Evan," she says. "He hasn't used any drugs, and he decided on his own to keep volunteering at the rehab." Evan's new friends there have shown him how important it is to stay drug free. "After seeing the paint these guys have to live with because of driving under the influence, I'll never use drugs again," Evans says. "Plus, I'd never want to let them down.
This story is based on Dr. Ron's case files. Details have been changed in order to protect the family's privacy.
Dr. Ron Zodkevitch, M.D. is a child psychiatrist and author of The Toughlove Prescription (McGraw Hill).